My wife got what I thought was a barbecue grill for my 31st birthday. It stood waist-high with four legs that had a set of wheels on one side. On top sat a rectangular box that was open at the top. Turns out, it was my first garden bed. I said earlier that year that I’ve always wanted to start a garden. My wife, being the meticulously thoughtful gift-giver that she is, put that in her mental rolodex for later. Fast forward to the first week of May 2021, fresh out of the pandemic. I have this black, metal raised garden bed before me.
Side note: I forgot, she also got a seed set to go along with it. More on that later.
I went to the store and bought some dirt and a few plastic pots for overflow. Excited to embark on my new hobby, I had no idea that these plants would transform my perspective on life and its challenges. This insightfully thoughtful gift from my wife was a Godsend in my personal development in numerous ways. The wisdom I’ve gained has been invaluable, and I thank God for placing it on my wife’s heart to gift this newfound talent.
Many of life’s precepts can be learned through the practice of gardening. I also discovered, as I began my walk with Christ, that being a gardener is a biblical concept. No wonder I was granted so much peace and serenity from my plants! Little did I know, I was doing the Lord’s work! With all that being said, here are five reflections on life I’ve made since I started gardening.
God is always in control.
No matter the quality of your fertilizer, the PH of your soil, or the depth you planted your seeds, God is always in control. We gardeners assist God in maintaining our plants, but only as helpers. He is the life force behind seedlings emerging from the soil. Do we water our plants, fertilize and compost them, make sure they are in the perfect spot to receive the proper amount of sunlight? Yes, but none of these actions cause life to come about on its own. You have to create the conditions for God to breathe life into your plants. Just as we have to create the conditions in our lives for God to breathe life into our spirits. Serving at church, attending Bible study, doing personal Bible study, and meditating on and digesting the Word are all methods that, when done in concert, create an atmosphere for the Holy Spirit to enter your life.
I am a gardener.
One of the most common conversation-deflating questions when first meeting someone is, “What do you do for a living?”. We increasingly reinforce this hollow question to determine how much respect we should give a person. Rather than being genuinely curious about the quirks that make the person in front of us unique, we ask this surface-level question that can bring the conversation to a screeching halt. What if the person is dissatisfied with their job? Now, both of you are attempting to find another topic to break the awkward tension. If you sincerely want to get to know a person, aim for the heart. Peeling back the layers of the onion that is our personas is key to making authentic connections and making people feel seen, rather than evaluated.
As the years went on and I accumulated a few seasons of growing under my belt, my perception of myself changed. I began to develop an intuitive feel for the art and science of growing plants, and this skill became ingrained in my heart (Prov 4:23). I started experimenting with various plants, from vegetables to flowers, including tomatoes, peppers, and lavender. Gardening became a part of my identity, and being rooted in something that cannot be taken from you is key to maintaining a stable sense of self. Job titles and professional achievements are merely fleeting sources of external validation. Placing your self-worth in externalities is a dangerous game to play with the psyche. When it’s all gone, what do you have to lean on? Gardening is an act of the heart, rooted in love, empathy, and eternal values that extend beyond the mask we present to the world.
Don’t water plants you don’t want to grow.
Your mind is fertile soil, and what you consistently think about plants seeds in that soil. Ruminating on that seed is the water that causes it to germinate and grow. Would you want a garden full of weeds or poison ivy? I’d safely assume you wouldn’t. It’s the same with your mind, your thoughts, and the subsequent actions they inspire. Planting “seeds” of negativity, fear, anger, unforgiveness, and so on, then watering them through rumination creates a harvest that nourishes no one.
The energy you put out is neither positive nor negative; it only shows up in the resulting harvest. Just as invasive species of plants go through the same life cycle as plants that grow to nourish, thoughts based in negativity grow to harvest just as thoughts of gratitude and contentment do. If you want a fruitful harvest of purpose and serenity, what your thoughts are rooted in needs to change. Personal conflicts, social media, and the news are all harbingers of poisonous fruit. That’s why having discernment in what you consume and give attention to is so paramount in leading a life of depth, purpose, and love.
Choosing to water plants that bear nourishing fruit, such as love, gratitude, or graciousness, will not just improve your mental well-being. Consistently practicing these thought patterns and behaviors waters those plants, and they grow! As time passes, these plants develop foliage that becomes thick enough to block out sunlight from reaching the ground. So when instances of doubt, anger, or temptation creep up, the resilience of that lush foliage that’s been cultivated over time will block the sunlight from reaching those seedlings, stunting their growth.
Shifting from focusing on your problems to utilizing that water to grow solutions that bear fruit is one of the highest forms of respect you can pay to yourself. Problems are like weeds that siphon valuable water and nutrients from the soil, reducing what’s available for plants to grow and bear healthy, beneficial fruit. This is unnecessary suffering. Solutions bear fruit, so water them regularly. Consistently show up for yourself, and you will be blessed with an abundant harvest of nourishment and benefits.
Nothing is positive or negative; it’s the perspective that counts.
In my first year of gardening, I grew cherry tomatoes, green beans, and radishes. After placing the soil, planting the seeds, and watering them, I was well on my way! All of my seedlings began to emerge from the soil about a week later. Weeks went by, and I adhered to my watering schedule for each species of plant. I noticed that the radishes matured a bit faster than the rest of the plants. To my delight, I eventually had fully blossomed radish leaves in my garden bed. Although radishes are considered a root vegetable, their leaves are also edible. They can make a tasty salad as the leaves have a distinctly sharp, vinegary taste. Upon learning that the entire plant is edible, I began researching recipes and thinking about how efficient it is to grow such a plant.
What I didn’t take into account was that I’m not the only one who knows this. One day, I came out on the balcony of our condo to water the plants, and to my dismay, all of my radish plants’ leaves were eaten down to the spine by caterpillars! I let out a sigh of annoyance at my beginner’s folly of pest control. However, in a sudden shift of perspective, I took joy in knowing that I had contributed to the ecosystem by feeding future butterflies.
Although I was initially disappointed, those caterpillars needed those radishes more than I did, and I was grateful to have provided them sustenance. How you choose to respond to challenges and setbacks is vastly more important than the situation itself. One can choose freedom and look for the lesson when challenges arise, or create a prison of negativity and rumination. The choice is yours…
Death is not the end of life.
Energy isn’t lost or gained, only transmuted into other means. When a plant completes its life cycle, whether naturally or overwatering (I’ve done this more times than I’d like to admit), the completion of a plant’s life cycle isn’t “death”. It is a transference of that life energy to restart the cycle for other plants. We call this composting. Composting turns perceived failure or death into an opportunity to support new life. As the plant decomposes, it creates a nutrient-dense soil for the next crop of plants.
It’s a universal process in that any plant can become compost, and that compost can be used to fertilize any plant. So, please don’t get discouraged when life doesn’t go as planned. Instead, look for the lesson and take advantage of the opportunity to apply it moving forward. Looking for the lesson in “bad” situations allows for the acceptance of the circumstances and provides an alternative avenue for moving forward. Now armed with this new knowledge, you become better skilled at adapting to life’s challenges.
Bonus tip: Don’t water dead plants.
Watering a plant that is obviously on the decline is an act of futility. It’s important to know when to cut your losses and compost the plant. Hindsight is 20/20, and in some cases, it’s better to look back and see where you went wrong than to keep forcing something that won’t get better. Sounds similar to relationships, right? That’s because it is. If you’re constantly pouring into someone, trying different watering schedules, repositioning for optimal sunlight, changing brands of fertilizer…let that go.
Your inner peace is of greater importance than trying to water a plant that doesn’t produce fruit. Learn from your mistakes and what potentially caused the decline of the relationship. Just as when you lose a plant prematurely, when a relationship declines and starts its slow death, attempt to save it. However, in that process, remember to preserve your energy and sanity when you realize that your attempts at preservation are not working. Learn the lesson and move on — you’ll be better because of it.
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